Quote from Retreat

Possible Retreat Cover Blurry Background With Words

 

I just wanted to share this brief quote I just ran, or I should say read across, from the book I’m currently editing, Retreat.

Within a couple of hours Fred was fast asleep, dreams of war in his head. Though, they were less dreams, and more nightmares.

Right now I’m taking a break from writing the rough draft of Stronger than the Sword and implementing the changes my editor (aka Mom) suggested, as well as what my writer instincts tell me to change.

I’m not for sure when this book’ll be coming out, as I want it to go through a much more rigorous editing process than my first book. Also, I may have to do some rewriting in order to set the stage for the next book in the series.

On another note, today I learned the winners of The Five Magic Spindles contest hosted by Rooglewood. My story did not make the cut, but eventually, once I can get to it, I’ll edit, and probably start a rewrite. I hope to someday publish it in some form, either on this blog or through Kindle.

Good luck writing!

Comparison Between First Person and Third Person Limited POV (With Excerpt from Retreat)

Possible Retreat Cover Blurry Background With WordsFirst of all, before I begin, I must warn all of you, that I am not an expert! These are my opinions and best understanding of these principles at the present time.

If you want to get a full explanation of POV’s, head over to Mr. Davis’ blog, The Author’s Chair. He’s the one who refined what I think about POV’s.

Of course, every author has a different style and it is the reader that decides how well it works.

Alright, with all of that out of the way, I think it’s time for some examples.

This is Third Person Limited (or at least how I understand it) 😉

Ben trudged through Dubuque. Wind whipped around his ears. It carried the scent of fall and warned of the approach of winter.

Pain shot up his leg. Ben grimaced. It had been months since Wilson’s Creek. It was already October, but the pain lingered. At least it was getting better.

He stopped and gazed up at a white church. Multi-colored leaves whisked by on a breeze. A small stairway, with a railing on one side, led up to a narrow door. Ben sighed. It hadn’t changed a bit, except for the piece of paper on the door. Ben squinted. The words were unreadable at this distance.

After placing a steadying hand on the railing, Ben walked up the stairs. He reached the top and gazed at the words once again. Now they were clear.

Here is a the same part of the story, but in First Person.

I trudged through Dubuque. Wind whipped around my ears. It carried the scent of fall and warned of the approach of winter.

Pain shot up my leg. I grimaced. It had been months since Wilson’s Creek. It was already October, but the pain lingered. At least it was getting better. 

I stopped and gazed up at a white church. Multi-colored leaves whisked by on the breeze. A small stairway, with a railing on one side, led up to a narrow door. I sighed. It hadn’t changed a bit, except for the piece of paper on the door. I squinted. The words were unreadable at this distance. 

After placing a steadying hand on the railing, I walked up the stairs. I reached the top and gazed at the words once again. Now they were clear.

Basically, I just changed the nouns and pronouns to “I” and “my”. First Person allows for a more in-depth examination of a single character.

Also, notice the thoughts. It had been months since Wilson’s Creek. It was already October, but the pain lingered. At least it was getting better. It hadn’t changed a bit, except for a piece of paper on the door. This allows for the reader to get inside the character’s head, as well as allows you, the author to establish the back story.

This excerpt is from my book Retreat, hopefully coming out next summer. Just so you know, this is not the final version, it’ll be edited at least one more time (Hopefully more) .

Please post any comments if you agree, disagree, or think I got all of this plain wrong! 🙂 Thanks for reading. Again, please check out Mr. Davis’ blog. Have a great Monday!

Writing for His glory!

David B. Hunter